Ship Diary
by MGFF
Summary: Clare, the Queen of Shipping, realizes something she should have long ago! HER PERFECT SHIP! Will the MGers stand in the way of her one true love?
1. Chapter 1

Clare sighed; another day of insane Megaglomping was over

Clare sighed; another day of insane Megaglomping was over. Though there was always tomorrow to look forward to, Megaglomp always seemed much more sad when she wasn't there to brighten up the forum with her good looks and amazing personality and wit. She pitied the poor Megaglompians. How would they survive without her around? She sighed again and checked her secret list of ships. It was in her gigantic Ship Diary, which contained all of her ideas for ships, all of the lives she'd made ever so much better, and all of the gloating.

For instance, one entry read:

"Dear Ship Diary,

The list of people who are now happy all because of me is getting longer and longer. Why am I so much more wonderful today than I already am, you ask? Because Tim and Lenni have finally gotten together. It was all because of me, too. If I had not used my mind control to make Jack tell Tim that Lenni loved him, why, Lenni would still be sobbing and eating food out of a garbage can and making friends with filthy hobos. I'm not sure what Tim would be doing. Whatever boys do, I guess. But it's all because of me they are both now happy. squeejinxomhgspazzpinkwthJUDGEJUDY"

Though, as Clare logged out of megaglomp to let her sister take over, something occurred to her. Why haven't I shipped myself with anybody? She thought, but the answer came to her instantly. _Why, because, nobody is good enough for me, obviously... except, well... me_

That was when it occurred to her, a thought that would make her entire life turn upside down. Or at least entertain her for a few minutes. _Why not ship myself with... myself? THE PERFECT PAIRING!_

Clare, being a fangirl for herself, squeeed with fangirlish joy and began writing down her brilliant/clever/awesome idea in her Ship Diary.

**To be continued. Next chapter: "How will I impregnate myself?"**


	2. Chapter 2

When Clare woke up the next morning, she flipped her computer on and grinned

When Clare woke up the next morning, she flipped her computer on and grinned. "Wow." she said to the computer, who happened to be her only friend. "I feel more awesome today than I usually am! Today is the day I'm announcing my fantastic relationship with myself! OMG! SQUEE!" She paused. "You don't really talk much. WHY DON'T YOU TALK?! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" With this exclamation, she smacked her computer. With instant guilt, she began lovingly stroking it. "I'm sorry, baby." she told it, twitching slightly. Then she noticed it was readily booted up, waiting for her awesomeness. She immediately got on Megaglomp, and she could practically feel the happiness through the computer upon her return.

She logged on, typing her username and her password, which happened to be "judgejudyismuhluver". She went straight to the Random forum and began making a thread. Here's what it said:

**"GREETINGS MAH DARLINKS!**

**I am Clare (as if you didn't know). I need to announce something utterly awesome I thought of (like everything I think of ISN'T awesome! HAHASQUEEWTHOMHGSPAZZ!). Well, I'm always shipping you poor idiots, so I decided to ship myself! But then I thought, well, of course nobody is good enough for me, especially on here! So then I decided... I'M SHIPPING MYSELF WITH MYSELF! IT'S THE PERFECT PAIRING! OMG!**

**That is all."**

Instantly, of course, like all of her fantastic threads, it got a dozen responses. Eagerly, she scrolled down to see... the first response! She squeed, but was disappointed to find it was from Bekki, and all it said was, **"WTF"**

_She just doesn't get the brilliance of my idea, _she thought, and scrolled again. This time, it was Erin. Clare squeed again, so loud and long it made her throat hurt. To show her displeasure, she whacked her computer again for no apparent reason. She was once again disappointed to find the next response was, **"I second Bekki: WTF"**

Clare took a cleansing breath. This was not going as planned. Why aren't they utterly joyous to find that Clare has found her perfect mate? WHY?! WHY?! Once again, Clare twitched and hit her computer. She continued scrolling.

**"This disturbs me."** Erad wrote.

"BLARG!" Clare exclaimed loudly. She sighed, and scrolled yet again to the next one. It was from Lenni. **"Why am I just so not surprised?"** Clare laughed. To this, there was finally a response to write! **"Because you know of my pure brillianticalyness, Lenni, you poor moron. You understand just how incredibly fantastically wonderful ALL of my decisions are."** Clare wrote, and hit the 'Submit' button. She smiled. Finally someone understood.

Though, the anger resurfaced when she saw Tank had posted.

**"I really don't see the point in this thread. I'm moving it"**

Clare twitched and wrote a response.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!1111111"** she wrote. **"Why? WHY?! YOU... YOU... FRUITCAKE! gets out shippy wand"**

_Ha, that'll teach him to mess with me_, Clare thought. But as she began laughing evilly, she started choking on her own spit like a total idiot.

_It's gonna be a long day._


End file.
